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Life may be a collection of pains, but the good part is, you can choose the ones you want.

Last Night at the Office

This is a mail I sent to my friends before leaving my job at Verizon in Chennai ..

Hi,
This is my last night at the VDSI office.

The floor is almost deserted, but one guy is playing some Tamil songs. (Kuchi kuchi rakkma from Bombay :))

It was a great evening with the Viceroy folks, am tired, but the AC is fine, and feel fresh enough to write.

Sheetanshu asked me sometime back (when I told him abt me leaving), he asked what had I learned here at Chennai. I had to think much.. I said, I learned to respect Shahrukh Khan. I know a teenage girl who cant walk. She goes into raptures when she sees SRK on screen. I dont think any other actor can ever do that. I cant make her happy that way. I dont think anyone else can.

At my home here (door no1 :-)), I learned how important it was to know about the simple things in life. About keeping clean, knowing how to cook, how to get a gas connection. (note - I have learned that these things are important,but not the things themselves :-)). Also, that a peaceful house was a blessing not easily matched by anything else.

I also came to know that language and cultural factors are important in relationships, but then, in true friendship, they dont matter at all.

Regd work, I think the only thing I learnt is that you have to be in love with what you do. Then everything sorts of happens right by itself.

But some most important learnings came in the last few days I think, when I told people that I was to leave.

I realized that there were people in my life I wanted to spend more time with. They too found time when they came to know that I was leaving. I showed them the best of what I had discovered in Chennai, listened to, and learned from them and spent some great time together.
We always know we want to spend some good time with people who matter to us, but always assume the presence of 'tomorrow'. :-)

I thought I would not rediscover the joy of friendship after I leave college. Thats what the seniors tell you. But if you find people with whom you can laugh, you can share, and they are there to take care of you, does it really matter that they have been there for 4 years or 4 months?

I found great people here at Chennai. I dont know how long these relationships will last. But I learned that everywhere there would be people from whom I can learn, have a good time with, laugh and share. Whats imp is that I enjoy the moments spent rather than think about who will be there 'tomorrow' :-).

In all these last few days, I feel a bit like crying for the first time. But make no mistakes,

I am full of hope.

real emotion?

sometimes,
.. I cry, but dont feel sad.
.. I laugh, but dont feel happy.

Gifted guilt

He felt no love for them,
but he really thought he should,
But since he dint have love,
he got a gift as expensive as he could.

Today I was a hero.

They said that girls were laughing at me when I was attacking the dogs with a stick. I had no shirt on, and my jeans was wet upto the thighs with the ends folded upto the knees. I was barefoot. Maybe it was a comical sight.

We were sitting on the beach. Me, Veni and Vaish. Veni asked will I come back to them and I started talking to them about the uncertainty of life. How, 2 years back, I had no idea I would be at a beach in Chennai. It was unimaginable. So, how can I tell where I would be next? The fact was I was afraid to make a promise to return back.

Then we heard the dogs. There were a bunch of 6-7 dogs biting and throwing a little white puppy around. Where was its mother? Why were they doing this? We had no idea.

We should do something. I said to Vaish.

Yes.

We still hesitated a bit. Then I moved forward and Vaish got up. It was good to have her behind me. I took a stick and moved towards the dogs. They soon scattered, leaving the puppy alone.

We go down to see the little guy. His cries sounded very much human. He was fully white, but sand was stuck on various parts of his body. There was a red gash on his chest. He was afraid of us, but soon saw that we were friends. We couldnt remove all the sand as we were afraid to touch any hidden wounds.

We decided to take him home, and treat him - and then maybe leave him but at least his wounds would be fine. The kid almost slept in Vaish's arms. I felt like a hero. I had fought the bad guys and saved a life.

At home, Akka took a look at him. She happens to have a PhD in pharmacy and already has 2 dogs. They were in the kitchen. I got out as it was becoming crowded and wanted the dog to be examined in peace.

Few mins later, I asked about him to one of the girls. She told me that akka said it had no chances of survival and would be dead within 8 hours. There was nothing we could do, so they had left him outside to die. It was a hidden place and the other dogs wouldnt see him there.